Primary Debate Squash

A Thanksgiving recipe from the 2011marx primary season. One candidate back then had difficulty remembering details of history and geography. He made it to Thanksgiving, 2011, I think.
Primary Debate Squash
3 Squash (2 butternut and one…, one, ah, … it’ll come to me). Halved, seeds removed, or, hmm. I’m sure you halve it, but not sure about the seeds. I let others make those decisions. I’m a Leader, not a Seeder.
 
Bake squash at 325 for 45 min.
 
3 Grannysmith apples, peeled, cored, sliced
 
2 Bosc pears, peeled, cored, & sliced as thin as the space between Romney-Care and Obama-Care.
 
Raisins ½ cup, picked by a company we hired to take care of the vineyard. Maybe worker documentation wasn’t perfect. It never is. I gave the company ‘til 2014 to hire legal workers or find me an off-shore vineyard with a good tax structure. Worked well before. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
 
Walnuts, chopped, handful, 2 if paid for by cutting the budget.
 
Zest of 1 water-boarded orange. Since we instituted water-boarding, or enhanced prisoner hygiene, as I call it, not one American soldier has been killed by a squash or an apple. It’s iron-clad facts and logic like that that drive the Liberals crazy.
Brown sugar, 4 tbsp, but only for those who work for it.
 
Cinnamon, ½ tsp. Maybe more, but it could be less. I’m the Leader; I hire people to tell me what’s right, and cinnamon is right. They told me it’s my favorite condiment, ‘cause I got deep roots and understanding of American traditions. I use it like the colonials did while they worked to end slavery during the Revolutionary War. Ever been to New Hampshire, walk the battlefield at Gettysburg? It really drives home why John Quincy Adams and other founding fathers strove to end slavery. Yah, I know. Elitists say JQ (us historians call him JQ) was only 6-years-old then, but that’s why he had so much energy. Ever try to keep up with a kid?
 
Nutmeg, ¼ tsp. Mix with the fruit and adjust to taste. But I wouldn’t do it like Obama. That would be wasteful. And wrong. Hmmm… He did do something with..? Ah, just to be sure I got the question right, Nutmeg is a spice, right? From Libya?
 
Sautee in butter until fruit is soft (~5 min) and all mixed-up, which doesn’t take long when I’m in charge, ‘cause of that Leader thing I mentioned.
 
VSOP Brandy – sipped slowly until you can keep a straight face while saying, “I’ve never met the woman.” Wait, not that I don’t like women, but…, I mean… What I said was, the third squash was an Acorn. Or maybe a Hubbard. Acorn & Hubbard look a lot alike, don’t they? Kind’a round and green?
Juice of 1 orange, strained to remove pulp and seeds. No – let me think… I was confused there. I’ll start over. We leave the seeds in. No exceptions. I never mess with the seeds, even for a grape or in jest.
 
Dark Rum, slosh, maybe two, but never 3. Wouldn’t want to look too happy. Or arrogant. Some politicians think they’re the smartest guys in the kitchen. That’s never happened with me. Never will.
 
Add to fruit mix and simmer for ~8 minutes or until it has two forms of ID or gives up trying to vote.
 
Cool fruit, skin squash cleaner than a donor at a fund-raiser. Combine in a casserole and heat at 325 for 15 minutes. Feeds one PAC.

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